The Monsters Inside
by HeliPotter08
Summary: Nico Di Angelo is self harming continuously and cannot stop. He has tried thinking about his sister, Bianca, his friends, the camp, but nothing cheered him up. Then, a cute, Sun-kissed angel of the Apollo cabin pops into his head... Rated M for trigger warning!
1. Scars are Forever

**Hey guys! I will randomly be adding chapters to this. I think I should have a certain day in the week to do this but I'll figure that out later. TRIGGER WARNING! I made this rated M because of the triggering content. This may be depressing but I had to write about it. This is the longest chapter yet!**

"Nico!" Will called, waking him up. "Get up so I can feed you!"

Nico opened his eyes groggily. He stuffed his face back into his pillow. "Nooo," he groaned. Will appeared at the doorway.

"Come on. You haven't eaten since yesterday morning and don't lie to me about it," Will sat at the edge of his bed. "And I know you have be shadow-traveling. What did I say? No Underworld-y stuff!"

Nico sat up slowly and sleepily next to Will. "Oh come on, Will. You know I need to—," With that, Nico's head plopped on Will's shoulder, falling asleep again.

"See Nico, this is what happens when you stay up too late doing Underworld-y stuff! No more, okay? Doctor's orders." Will grinned and he bounced his shoulder up and down, jolting Nico awake.

"Wha… Huh?" Nico dazed up.

"Get up and eat please," Will got up and felt a soft tug on his arm. He turned around to see Nico holding on.

"Can you bring the food here?" Nico asked, sleepily. "Please?"

"Alright," Will sighed. "But only because I love you." And with that, he left.

Nico recollected himself and got out of bed. He glanced at his Stygian iron sword and grabbed it with him inside the bathroom. He locked the door and stood against the sink, facing the mirror. He stared coldly at his reflection, despising it. His first thought was Bianca. Then Percy. Then Cupid. A tear trickled down his cheek and he choked back a sob. He stepped back, hitting the wall behind him. Nico slid down the wall slowly to sit down, dragging his sword with him. He gripped the handle of it so tightly that his already pale knuckles turned white.

Nico pulled back his long sleeves revealing cuts and scars all over. Some were light pink and fading while some were bright red and recent. He placed the cool black blade of his sword against his arm, wherever he could find room, and pressed down lightly. As he applied more and more pressure, he saw the crimson color trickle down slowly. He lifted his sword and did it again. And again. And again. _Gods that feels so good._

He pulled back his sleeves further and saw that there was no more room. _Styx._

Since he was already wearing his shorts, he pulled them back and started hacking at his thighs. Slicing over and over. His mind was clouded with negative thought and terrible visions. He saw Bianca dying again. He saw her in the Underworld again. He saw Percy kissing Annabeth. _Oh Gods please. No._

Then suddenly, he thought of Will, smiling his million dollar smile. He thought of how much he cared for him that night he had that dream. Nico stopped. His thoughts unclouded hazily as he tried breathing evenly. He blinked his eyes and few times and looked at his arms and thighs clearly. They were bloody with gashes everywhere. Nico's cheeks were stained with tears and his hands were covered in blood. It would appear as a murder scene to another which was partially correct. Nico had murdered the happy little boy who once was obsessed with pirates and Mythomagic card. He had murdered his innocent soul.

He heard a gentle rapping on the bathroom door and snapped back into reality. It was Will. "Come on. Breakfast is ready. Hurry up and eat because I have many patients to tend to, Death Boy." Nico wiped his tears and cleared his throat.

"You go ahead. I'll eat don't worry," he called back.

"Promise?"

"Promise," Nico said, choking back a sob. _Gods I hate lying to him._

"Okay bye, Neeks. See you in the evening!" Will said as he walked out.

Nico didn't want to admit it. He was addicted to cutting himself. It was his way of coping with emotional pain; Turning it into physical pain.

He wasn't sure how to bandage his cuts so he slipped in the shower. As the cold water ran against his open wound, he winced as they burned furiously. He hit his head lightly on the wall as the water continued rushing down his back. _He couldn't let Will know about this addiction. He would never forgive me._ Nico was disgusted at his actions himself and Wil would be furious. _I can't believe I actually enjoy this… Something is really wrong with me…_

 **Another chapter coming in soon! Thanks for reading! Reviews and feedback are always helpful!**


	2. The Special Tune

**Hey guys! Sorry about posting this next chapter so late. I've been extremely busy with my school work and haven't exactly been on top of things. So here it is, chapter 2 of** _ **The Monsters Inside.**_

Will Solace was content. Always cheerful and happy. With a boyfriend like Nico Di Angelo, he found it hard to wipe the grin off his face. He walked briskly out of the Hades cabin. He decided to move in with Nico a few weeks after they had gotten together; it was going great! There were a few shaky nights filled with bad dreams and nightmares for Nico and Will was always there the help. However, that was another story. (Literally another fan fiction I wrote) Everything seemed perfect. He walked into the Apollo cabin and was greeted by everyone there. He started tending to some of the patients. Taking their temperature, bandaging any wounds, or feeding them ambrosia and nectar all while humming a special tune. This was a tune he heard Nico singing one night…

6 Months Ago…

It was a freezing night when Will saw Nico outside, astonished at how he could withstand the freezing temperatures. Nico sitting at the edge of the forest, staring out into the wild. Will scrambled back inside to grab the fuzziest and warmest jacket he owned and dashed back out to where Nico was, still humming the tune. Will crept up behind him and wrapped Nico in his jacket. Nico yelped, "AHH!" He turned around to see Will "What in the Hades is wrong with you?!" He yelled, angrily. He stood up, shrugging the jacket off.

"S-sorry. I thought you were cold," Will stuttered, surprised at his outburst of anger. As soon as Nico turned to see Will's blonde and messy hair and his scared face, Nico's face relaxed and blushed a bit. He tried hiding his face with his hands. Now, Will was confused; was he angry or blushing?

Nico did the only thing he could to avoid embarrassment. Turn it into anger and frustration. "Look, just leave me alone! I don't want your stupid jacket!" He kicked the jacket across the ground and it landed right next to Will. Will looked down at the jacket then right back at Nico. He stared into his dark and mysterious eyes, searching for the slightest bit of light in him. Then, Will saw himself, a reflection that shown through the darkest eyes.

"That tune…what you were singing. It was beautiful." Will said softly, still with locked gazes. Nico's countenance soften and he found his eyes traveling down and it left him staring at Will soft lips. "I was as if I were in a trance or in a peaceful eternity. Can you sing some more?" Will knew, internally, that he might be pushing it. He didn't want this boy to hate him. As a matter of fact, he craved for his warmth.

Nico hanged his head down as he felt blood rush to his cheeks. It was an odd feeling to him and only felt it when he was near Percy Jackson. He didn't understand why it happened when this random boy from the Apollo cabin was around. It was unnatural. "Uh n-no. I can't. Please just leave me."

"Well it's a shame such a beautiful voice –er I mean tune isn't recognized around the camp." Will picked up the jacket and brushed it off. He held it near Nico and said, "Here. It's cold out here. I don't want you getting sick otherwise I'll have another patient to tend to tomorrow." He chuckled and scratched his head.

Nico blushed harder. He thought he hid it well. After all he had gotten so much practice. "Er…thanks," he said as he took the jacket. "Can you please leave me now?"

Will knew Nico was blushing. You didn't have to be Aphrodite's child to figure that out. Nico couldn't hide a thing from him. "Ha alright fine. I'll leave you alone. Just take care of yourself sometimes. Bye Di Angelo," Will left in triumph.

Nico, having the jacket in his hand, had a feeling of uneasiness. He sat back down on the ground and pulled the jacket on. He smelled the collar of it and whispered softly into the night, "Will Solace."

Ever since that night, Will would always hum or sing that tune to himself.

 **That's the end of chapter 2! Still deciding whether or not I should make Will find out about Nico's self-harm problem or keep him oblivious… Reviews are appreciated! Hopefully a chapter 3 will be published soon!**


	3. I'm Proud of You, Nico

**I have decided that I will post one chapter every week for this fan fiction. The only time I was to write is on the weekends so please excuse me if there are any grammatical mistakes because I try doing this as quick as I can.**

 _ **Italicized—**_ **Character's thoughts**

 **(Parentheses)—Author's note (Me)**

 **Rated M for the Trigger Warning! Chapter #3!**

Nico sat, still in the bathroom, back down after his shower. Every last bit of the blood that was on his body ran down the drain, clearing up his crime scene. His Stygian Iron sword was coated with deep crimson and was left lying on the tiles. He stared of into the distance, zoning out of reality. _Something is really wrong with me._ He looked down at his pale, naked body. He felt vulnerable and exposed to the world. His thin frame never really bothered him but secretly he wished he wasn't so thin; He needed more flesh to cut into. He, then, took note of his scars and wounds all over his arms and legs. Some were battle wound, but most were _his_ own battle wounds from fighting with himself every day. Some were puffy and open while some were tightened and closed. However, they were rarely closes as Nico kept opening them up every day. He suddenly got up and grabbed his sword again. But this time, he placed it in the small sink and rinsed his blood off. More blood down the drain…

After a few minutes of recollecting himself, he dresses slowly, wincing slightly as the rough fabric of his black jeans rubbed across his cuts. He grabbed his shirt and tugged it lightly over his head down his protruding shoulder blades and over is abs. Of course Nico never saw himself as the hero, yet he did get some muscle from saving the world. The only part of him that was exposed was his arms. _Styx,_ he cursed. The long sleeves shirts was soaked in red so he couldn't wear that. He needed a jacket.

Nico carefully and quietly unlocked the bathroom door and cracked it open, just so his eye could peer through. He knew Will had left but he took no risks. When he saw no one he sighed in relief and slipped out through. He walked to his bed were there was a jacket. It was Will's. He had given this jacket to him about 6 months ago, before they were even dating. Nico kept it and always kept it close. Just as Nico was about to put it on, he froze. _What am I doing I can't wear this. This is Will's. I do not want Will's jacket on my cuts. It just isn't right._ This jacket was too precious to be touched by battle wounds of his own. Nico carefully set it aside and grabbed his old aviator jacket and tugged it on.

Nico completely forgot about the breakfast Will had made for him. On the table in the kitchen he saw a stack of four fluffy pancakes covered with fruit and whipped cream, Nico favorite. Nico sighed. _Why does he care about me so much? How does he even love me? I'm just a stupid child of Hades_ … He didn't want to throw the breakfast away, but he didn't want to eat it either. Instead Nicopacked the pancakes up and decided to give it to the first person he saw when he went outside the cabin.

Nico went outside the cabin with the pancakes in a container placed in a bag. He was blinded by the harsh light of the Sun. _Damn you Apollo. Not today._ Although he knew he shouldn't be cursing the Sun God as his child was his boyfriend, he didn't care. _I wish it was dark everywhere, like in the Hades Cabin._

Even though it was blistering hot, Nico kept his jacket on. Nobody questioned him. The camp knew not to talk with a Hades kid, or at least that's what Nico thought they knew. His friends however, were not scared of him. Most of the times, they saw him as a cute little dark fuzz ball. _If only they knew what I do to my body. That "fuzz ball"_ ship _sailed a long back._ (Speaking of ships…) Nico walked down the stairs and he accidentally bumped into Percy Jackson by the shoulder. (Hehehe you _sea_ what I did there?)

"Oh Nico!" Percy smiled warmly at him. "Hey, I didn't notice you there. Sorry," He chuckled.

"It's fine," Nico mumbled to the ground, his head hung low, avoiding eye contact. _You didn't notice me back then either, Jackson._

"Are you okay? What's wrong, Neeks?

Nico jolted when he said Neeks and he lifted his head a bit. He requested everyone to stop calling him that. That nickname stabbed his heart every time he heard it. _Bianca._

"Oh Gods. Nico I am so sorry. I didn't do it on purpose. It slipped my mind and—"

Before Nico felt a lump in his throat and tears forming in his eyes, he said, "Save it." He dropped the bag that held the pancakes and walked away briskly. He covered his face with is hand and broken into a run. _Gods please no. I don't need this now. I need Will._ Will told Nico if anything was wrong, he should run to him immediately. He never listened to him until now. As his eyes were filling with tears and his chest becoming heavy, he ran to the Apollo cabin sneaked in. He covered his face with his aviator jacket until he found Will.

When Nico saw him, he was taking care of a patient. He waited in the corner of the shadows until he was done. _I am not as important as that_ _patient_. When Will was done, Nico grabbed him by the arm and led him to an empty room.

"Wha-" Will was caught by surprised. "Nico, is that you?" he asked once they were in alone. Nico let out a sob and covered his face with his hands. "Nico! What's wrong? Nico, Please talk to me!" Will hugged his sobbing love fiercely. He held on until Nico's breathes evened. "Nico," he said gently. "I am proud of you, you know that?"

"W-why?" Nico gasped for breath between sobs.

"Because you came to me," he said. "Instead of crying alone, you came to me. I am proud of you for it." Will's eyes twinkled.

"R-really…?" Nico looked up at Will. A twinkle in his eyes, yet worry on his face. However, there was a thin smile, just there to reassure Nico. Nico wrapped his arms around the middle of Will's torso and laid his head on his heart.

"I am telling you this again: Whenever you feel like sobbing your eyes out, come to me. I'll be there for you, Nico. You don't even have to tell me why if you don't want to. I'll always be there."

"I'm sorry," Nico whispered. _I'm sorry for being alive, sorry for making false promises, sorry for cutting._ "I am a terrible boyfriend. I don't deserve you…"

"Nico, if you say that one more time, you'll be in the infirmary for three days. Doctor's orders."

 **Okay so I legit started crying while typing this…**

 **Poor Nico. I feel like an evil author *cough cough* Uncle Rick *cough cough* who makes precious characters suffer :(**

 **Also, please excuse my stupid pun lol**

 **Ideas, reviews, comments are appricieated!**

 **CHAPTER 4 COMING IN NEXT WEEK! 3**


	4. Can He Help?

**Hello! I am so so so so very sorry to keep you guys waiting for so long for this next chapter! It is just really hard for me to balance my education and school life, my social life, and my internet social life. Please forgive me!**

 **Here is chapter 4! It won't be that long or in depth, but I just wanted to get this out there! I hope you enjoy it!**

There he saw him. Nico. Just sitting between the scattered drops of blood. He had his head tucked in his arms, resting on his knees. His arms where bloodied and bruised beyond comprehension. From the end of his wrist up to his shoulder were sleeves of red, oozing out every slight movement he made. Nyx was pale in comparison to the Stygian sword that laid beside him; one side was coated heavily with deep crimson liquid. He heard Nico's heavy and raspy breathes that sent shivers up his spine. He couldn't take it anymore.

Will stated to squirm and sweat in his bed. The covers were no longer on him, but it looked like they were kicked over. He couldn't bear to see it anymore. Will gasped awake and jolted upright. He breathed heavily until his brain functioned properly again.

 _What. Was. That? Nico? No. My Nico would not do that. Sure, Nico has had troubles in his past, but would he really go to that extent…? If Nico was suffering, he would have to help him. He can't bear to see him in pain. Physically nor emotional. He did come crying to me last week but he never told me what exactly happened. Was it Percy?_

Many questions raced furiously through Will's mind, and he was determined to have them answered. Will glanced over at Nico on his side––"sleeping. He was facing the opposite way of Will and he was curled up into a fetal position. His messy, dark hair was scattered across his inhumanly pale complexion. He wanted to wake him up. He wanted to ask all the questions that had erupted in his brain. Will extended his hand to wake his up. However, he drew back as he was interrupted by Nico lightly mumbled something under his breath.

"Nico…?" Will asked lightly.

"Will…," Nico mumbled so slightly that Will strained his ears to hear him. "Wi-i-ll, p-please he-help me."

"Nico, I am here for you. You just have to tell me what is wrong," Will said gently. However, there was no response from him. Will waited patiently, as he thought Nico was contemplating his way of words. Minutes had passed and there was no response. "Nico?" Will extended his hand and lightly touched Nico's forehead. A scalding heat tore across his hand and he quickly withdrew. "Oh Gods, he is burning up. This is not good. Not good at all."

Will rushed to the kitchen to grab hand towels and a bowl of cold water. Rushing back, he had almost dropped all the water. Will soaked the towels in the frigid water and laid it on Nico's burning forehead. _Being the child of Apollo had its perks…_

Almost instantaneously, as the cold temperature kissed Nico's forehead, he yelped and cried in an outburst. "Holy Styx! Nico! I am so sorry! What happened?" _Yeah. Some perks…_

Nico groaned and rubbed his forehead and sat up. He was careful not to let his sleeves rise up. Sometimes, Nico forgot he had those deep gashes of pain over his body. _Maybe Will can help…_

"Nico! Are you okay? Are you hurt? In pain?" Will asked, concerned. _Deeply hurt please. Look into my eyes and tell me I am not okay. Will, I want you to understand. But I don't want you to be disgusted by be._

"I'm fine, Will," Nico stated. "I think it was a dream."

Will grabbed his wrist and Nico tried to compress a wince. Will stared directly into Nico's dark, mysterious eyes. They seemed to have faded out heavily; they bore another Tartarus. There was no sparkle in his eyes anymore. There wasn't any light visible. However, Will was determined. _I will be his light, even in the depths of the Underworld._ "No. You are not okay. Nico, Please what is wrong? I can help. I promise. I will always be there for you, no matter what happens."

Nico's heart skipped a beat. _Can he help? No. He will just leave me. Like everyone else did. He will see me as a monster, not a boyfriend._ "No, Will. I am fine. It was just another nightmare. It's common between demigods." He averted his gaze down to his lap.

"Nico," pulling Nico's eyes back at his. "I had a dream too. And you were in it." Wil paused for a second and drew his breath. "You were…you had blood around you…caused by you. Nico. Please. Are you doing this?" The grip on Nico's wrist hardened. Nico bit the inside of his lip to stop a cry from escaping them. 

"No," Nico stated plainly. _More lies. I wonder how long I can keep this up…_

"Will, please. I have just been stressed lately. I just need time to be alone. I know that sounds terrible but please…give me some time." Nico gently grabbed Will's hand that was on his wrist and gave it a reassured squeeze.

Will's eyes softened and he said, "Nico, just know, I am there for you. I love you." Nico bit back a large sob.

"Thank you, Will."

 **Please excuse any grammar or spelling mistakes! This was done pretty quickly! Thank you all for following me and this fanfic! Reviews are appreciated! It truly means a lot to me! Love you! :)**


	5. We Will Get Through This Together

**Hey guys! Long time no see… *hesitated chuckle* I am so sorry! But I will make this up to you by chapter 5!**

 __ _Crap. Will is on to me. He will find out eventually. I am getting tired. Tired of this stress. Tired of the demons inside. Tired of lying to his Will. What do I do? Should I just tell him?_

 _No. He will leave me, just like everyone else. Bianca. Percy. They all left me. Alone. Depressed. A self-harmer._

 _Yes. If he loves me as much as he claims, he won't leave. He will stay and help me though this. He cares about me. He loves me and I love him. He will my light in the dark._

Nico screamed. He ran his fingers into his messy hair, and he clutched and pulled in frustration. He was all alone, sitting in a corner in the darkest part of the shadows. The darkness muffled his screams, and they evaporated into the heavy air. It was as if the air was carrying his cries and anguished screams. He was torn between the choices he faced ahead.

 _What do I do? Okay, Nico. Just. Think. No. Stop. You have already done too much thinking. You are overthinking. Just. Tell. Him. Do not think how. Do not think when._

 _I will tell him._

Nico stood up from the darkness, and he started walking ahead.

Nico walked to Will, his head was lowered. At that time, he noticed the upper part of his coarse dark black jeans started to blotch into a darker hue of red. The cuts were opening again. He ignored them. _No. There is no going back._ He continued on foreword.

He found Will in the infirmary, tending his patients. He walked up to him from behind and grabbed his hand.

"Huh? Wha _…"_ Willsaid _,_ surprised _._

"Come," Nico stated, plainly. He started dragging him and Will started to follow without hesitation and without stumbling. _He didn't hesitate._ Nico's eyes widened with surprise. _To the Hades cabin. Where no one dwells except me and the darkness._ Will didn't say a single word in the journey there.

Nico pushed opened the Hades cabin doors, lead Will inside, and shut the doors tight. Will looked at Nico, his eyes full of concern, but his face was understanding, calm, and patient. "Will," Nico took a deep breath. "Will, I have something to tell you." He looked at Will's eyes for confidence. He found it. "I have been struggling with a problem for so long. I…I need your help."

He took an even bigger breath and released it slowly. Will was in no hurry. In fact, he could stay in this cabin forever, looking at his boyfriend.

"Will. I am sorry. If you leave me forever after I tell you this, I won't blame you. If you start to hate me, you can leave. I just need to tell you."

Will gently grabbed Nico hand and held it to his. "I will never do anything like that. I promise." Will kissed him lightly, showing his warmth and understanding.

They stared into each other's eyes. Lost. Will looked into Nico's and saw a small spark of light. _I became his light in the darkness._

"Will _…"_ Nicocouldn't say it. _I will show him._ He gently slide out of Will's hands and lifted his left sleeve. Nico never averted his gaze from Will's endless eyes. And neither did Will. When his had pulled his sleeve to the elbow, only then did Will look down to them. Nico lifted his arm for a Will to see the battle wound.

The only thing Will did was look at them for a second. Then, he lightly grasped him arm, careful not to hurt Nico, and brought his arm up to his lips. He kissed them once. Twice. Three times. Traveling up his arm slowly. He stopped and looked and Nico. His head was hung low in shame. Will lifted Nico's chin to look at his eyes again.

"Nico," Will whispered. "We will get through this together."

 **THE END**


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